Thursday, December 16, 2010

Why now

I really can’t believe that you want in after the turmoil I was in, I begged for your help, yet you selfishly turned your back on the situation, you have no back bone and yet you want connection now. Are you kidding me? Two years not one word and you think a card is the way back in to my world? I can honestly say I can’t stand the site of you.

My heart says to forgive, my soul says to be at peace and yet my mind takes me back to the moment I cried for you....and you want connection.......?????? NOW…….!!!!!! WTF

Selo says it best and yet I won’t quote, I’ll just quietly say those very words to make me smile.

mama lou tina I can hear you says forgive… Im not ready and I love my world without the illness of others, She was never a part of my world, so why try NOW…STAY Away and I’ll be happier for it..

UGH the Nerve........Live your life and not invade mine. I have moved on, we have no conection.......

Sunday, October 17, 2010

LOL Im just venting peeps

My life was going along so well and happy times and memories were being made but then something happen and the universe opened up and said…
Hey u need a bit of shaking up baby…
So little by little the forces that be were allowing bits of other peoples BS into my world and then I’ve come to reutilize that these people just don’t want to be happy, live for drama and feel the need to share these ill ways with others. I also realize that no matter how much support, love, advice and a good meal you give them, they well never want to be happy.

I have my moments when I just want to pack up and change my identity, I’ve allowed myself to become a puppet to these lost souls and my mantra of “Don’t feed into others insecurities, I’m a gown azz man...High School was 20 years ago...Come correct” Has more of a Ghetto flair that these lost souls can handle. “Keep the BS at the front door, bring cash for my services and grow the Fu#k up”

Ya get what ya give. ….OneLove peeps :0)

Monday, September 6, 2010

Who's Business???

My business is my business and yo business is yo business and when ya try to get into other people’s business it’s so not the business.....Live for you and not for the approval of others. I understand your confusion of wandering, pleasing those around you, and yet when all is said and done and no longer your approval committee is around, it leaves you with the trash of picking up the pieces and hiding out in the world you created to comfort your pain.

I surrender to life and will live for the that one moment of truth when I can smile and say “I did it my way” laugh if you may, but that’s the way I deal with my pain a cheesy line to carry me to the next gig of demons in my head. I am good, I am worthier, I am scared………comfort me, I want to be set free, someone hear me…….

My Life as a COCONUT

Wow this was an easy decision to make, I mean I was already domesticated, just not educated. I knew how to cook, bake, clean, change diapers, and how hard could it be to work in a village store? The only thing was I wasn’t really sure about the pigs and chicken. I only ate pork chops , loved fried chicken, so raising them was going to be a challenge. My mind was already made up I was going to drop out of school and help around the house. But before telling my dad, I wanted to first check out the school and see what it would be like to be surrounded by so many Samoan kids, and besides I had all these new clothes I wanted to show off from the states.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

D10 our next Supervisor Malia Cohen

It's not what a candidate can do for a specific group of people, but what that individual brings to a community as a whole; this is why I'm endorsing Malia Cohen for District 10 Supervisor.
I’ve been involved in different community groups in the Visitacion Valley . Many people in San Francisco have never herd of Visitacion Valley and those that have know it for its high crime, low income housing and the infamous “ Geneva Towers". 

Well things are changing and it's not only the many redevelopment projects  in our district, but it's also evident with the many candidates running for district 10 supervisor, (at last count it was 28) were headed for a brighter future and we'll need a strong leader.

During the past year,  I  notice a young woman who attended many of the same meetings and community events that I attended, not knowing who or what her interest was in this community, I soon learned that she is a native daughter of district 10 and is also running for district 10 Supervisor. After talking to Malia and hearing her views on our community,  I automatically felt a connection and realness that you don't find in many politicians.

I believe that Malia  has the leadership skills,  passion and education to be our  next supervisor for district 10 . Malia grew up in this community, she knows of the struggles we  face every day. her  commitment to this community is real. Malia will be a major player in bringing together our vibrant community of many cultures, working classes and residents that are craving to be apart of the bigger community of San Francisco,  we no longer want to be the forgotten community in the Southeast corner. We  need a supervisor that in not afraid to speak up for our community and has the drive and determination to see issues through.

I'm asking that you my family and friends please join me in supporting Malia Cohen and help elect Malia  as our next supervisor for District 10 in November.

Neo Veavea

Friday, July 9, 2010

Manuleo Cooking Show 2003

So this is part of many cooking shows my friend Tunui and I did back in 2003. Anyway, all in good fun and we never did make it to the food network...LOL ENJOY

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Gay Samoans!!??!!!

Yeah, I get asked that allot. I'm 6'1" 320 pounds of pure corn beef. I look like I could be a linebacker for the 49ers. Shaved head, tribal tattoos on each arm. One that represents the navigator Islands that we were once called, the other that bares the Kava bowl Samoans use in ceremony's that honors our traditions. Many people aren't aware that there are Gay Samoans or for that matter, never heard of a Samoan. I guess you can't blame people.

Many times I've gone out with my Gay friends and was asked at the door by the doorman, "Do you know this is a Gay club?" I'm even asked the same question by Samoan Doormen. They're not sure if we just stumbled into the wrong place or what, until one of us gives that one look that only a straight Samoan man knows. That's the "I'll have you later" look.

I sometimes think that I should have a sign on my forehead that says "Gay Samoan proceed with caution". I'm no longer willing to hide behind the ruff and tuff image society has given me. I stop letting these feelings of loneliness take my sprit away. Not too many Gay Samoans are out and being heard. "Hey! Say it loud I'm gay and I'm proud" It's just not something we do. But times are changing and some say for the worst, but the worst is over now that I'm free.

We now need to express our lifestyles showing other Samoans we are not the puletasi wearing, seamstress making, bingo going queens of the past. We are asked to participate in family fa'alavelaves (business/responsibilities) raising our brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews and third cousins removed. Helping displaced uncles, aunts and people that aren't even related but come from the same village as our parents came from.
"Fa'afafine's (Gays) have such a loving heart."

I often think of the phrase "The ones that came before us". Have I done enough to help other young Gay Samoans feel better about coming out? What has my history of being gay given to the youth of today? Being out and about letting God and all my people know. Yeah I'm a queer faggot and what of it. "You like Beef?" Referring to the Hawaiian Pigeon slang, ya wanna fight?

I'm OLD SCHOOL. I share with you the lessons I've come to learn. Embrace your sexuality as you would your culture. Without one or the other happiness is nothing but a dream. Believe in your truths for it speaks more then you'll ever imagine. Hold your head up high, never looking back. Because my battles today, will lesson yours. I never want you to feel the solitude I endured. Walk with an attitude that demands respect but never lose the humbleness that gives you power. Always remember and respect the ones that paved the way. It's now your turn to make a way so that others can hear your story and live without fear. Those of us that are in a position to make a difference should remember how hard it was.

So don't waste your life just trying to keep up with Johnson's. Shake up your world and REPRESENT !!!!!! "Hate takes too much from ones soul; tolerance is the beginning of truth. Start giving your truths to the world."

Friday, April 23, 2010

A change is coming

My game face in the hood is my armor for survival,
The war zone spreads out in the valley if you’re not aware.
Looks of fear forever indented on the innocents faces.
Mothers crying out for justice are the voices ever heard?

It’s said this is a diverse community, yet separation is still the comfort we all rely on, knowing its wrong and wanting to change, taking the first step into fear holds us back.
Cultural differences divide the valley, understanding, tolerance and education is what’s needed to move forward. It’s survival of the riches; monitory gain is the game we play and not for those who dodged the bullets that ring out in the hood, this is a reminder of the violence that is still here in the valley.
Is it your turn to benefit of the coming changes in our hood?

The wave of new immigrants has changed the color barriers we see everyday and shifted the playing field for those that have no game, wake up and be counted, your days are numbered.

My mantra begins “another day in the hood” chant it loud and clear like the winds that rushes between the valley hills.

At the highest point atop the John McLaren ridge, overlooking the valley, this special place helps clears my mind.
The cool air travels to the bay, in the distance the fog rolls down the San Bruno Mountains.
I close my eyes and imagine tribal grounds, scared traditions long forgotten and yet cry out to be heard.
Bulldozer in the distance with sounds of renewal, a valley that is changing its cosmetic blemish.
I no longer fear this place called Visitacion Valley,
I want in to this new valley.
I have become the new pioneer.
Let the games start with me.

Neo Veavea

What color can I be this month?

White Girl, Samoan Gurl
Frizzy, nappy, waving, long hair
Skin as dark as a coconut shell that has been polished for the tourist that will help feed her family.
Faa Samoa is learned in her own screwed up way of thinking.
Blames it on Christianity she always says.
Your privileged is your excuse to never see your own inadequacies
Blame it on the white girl, is your motto
You'll never be like her no matter how hard you study, pose, talk like a valley bitch
Never living in your own skin always playing the white girl part.
Sad Samoan girl always running from your roots, only to bleach you're hair color to the mold you always desired.
Never happy with your genetic makeup.
Magazines pictures of women that you can never be. Poor little white girl, living in a Samoan world.
Giving from the heart is something of a novelty.
Taking of one’s heart is more of a reality.
Stays away, don’t get to close or my pure white venom will spray you with my truth.
Yes, I'm a white girl living in a Samoan world. Never feeling comfortable in my own skin
Only to be left alone, in my fantasy world of Samoans, wistfulness, my loneliness of never-ness,
Wanting acceptance only to be rejected, never finding the truth in my world of solitude.
Wake up stupid bitch; no one wants a white girl that looks like a Samoan girl that wants to be a white girl.

The wrong turn

To lose ones identity is allowing the influences that surround you to take your very soul. Look what’s happening to your cultural,

Walk to any ghetto and see we all look, talk, smell the same
Is that a Newport ya got for me, funny it was Kools in my day and to think, we were KOOL for smoking them, how many of us are alive today?

Sure the White T that hangs on your body doesn’t tell the real story of years of junk food we’ve consumed, because we know the 7xxxl is just a size away.

Every wonder what happens to all the good intention that these non-profits promise us?

You question my LOVE 2006

Left me to seek what you thought you were missing
Never realizing everything you needed was staring u in the face.
Lessons learned, brought you back to me
Everything you needed was here with me
Overjoyed once again stronger….life is beautiful.
Never before knew the true meaning of love until you showed me your back and hit the door.
Working it out is part of what makes love last.
They can say something now, did we prove them wrong?
Influences now not caring if you walk or crawl
Quick to offer words of escape with the solution of never looking back,
Weak to believe, quick to want the freedom they talked about.
Your back, humbled

To Tell The Truth

To tell the truth

Don’t take my kindness for weakness as I have heard it said many times before.
Shear ignorance is a blessing in it’s self for to live your life in a fog gives you less responsibility for your own action,
Not knowing here nor there, always playing the victim,
Maybe that’s the line to use?

I know the game to well to pretend and in the end the light will reveal all the truths we hide ourselves from, all for nothing and nothing at all, you tell me what’s the energy that I’m putting out for you to feel.

Now I know we all have our moments and at times we think to ourselves what are the possibilities of being just a bit off in that special way and does everyone around me have issues, problems and dramas???
God forbid you should be positive about anything that comes out of ones mouth, then this to must imply I too am crazy, why am I’m still hanging around these fools , absorbing the crazy emotions that have attached themselves to the lives of everyone that surrounds them.
I just happen to be in the wrong place at the right time to be your friend

Now it’s my turn to cut you off, walks away, hit the streets and never look back!!
I wonder why it is that some individuals feel the need to lie and never think about the repercussions a lie can have on ones everyday life.
The severity of what a lie can do. The seed has been planted and even if the truth should prevail, there is always that small question and doubt
That sits in the back of your mind and wondering about you have heard if it’s the truth or not?
I’ll be true to the very end but until then, the ball is in your court. Care to serve?

Take me away

Take me away from all this madness I know this can’t be happening to me,
I’m not the crazy one, keep myself out of the loop and still I get called out just for being me, bitter not, scared not. Confused yet tired of them, him, her, it,

Wanting a reaction, getting satisfaction from countless BS accusation of seeing me,
Wanting to be like me,
Do you want me?

And yet living the dream of seeing you, laughing at you, crying for you, praying for you?
Close the door; free yourself from the madness of thinking of me day in and day out,
I’m just not feeling you right now

Stop listening to the others, remember way back when I was your only hope, only one? Gave you direction, your culture back when you lost it on your many journeys to fine that one person to love you

The never ending dream of you having your long flowing extension of many colors, hair strands so delicately woven and glued in place, the full figured Polynesian girl you want to be, yet knowing the mussels in your calves will give you away, let’s not forget about the Adams apple. And of course the 5 o’clock shadow that’s always on time, Damm I need me some dam hormones~!!!!!!!!!
Not the street kind, that’s the stuff that’ll give you an extra susu on the side of you head and please Mary I don’t need any more attention then I already have, Standing at 6’5 270pounds 14 size triple e feet and shoulders that any linebacker would die for. You think I want this change for just the hell of it????

I need the stuff that the good doctor will prescribe for me, you know the kind, gives good smooth face, the voice of a squeaky povi (cow)……yeah that’s the stuff I’m willing to fight any queen in the streets, yeah that’s the stuff I need.

The fabrice of my existence


The fabric of my existence is battling the differences that I was raised with, what I have learned and the experiences I have lived so far.
To be pulled is so many directions, family, friends, community and trying to do the right thing to balance this fast pace moving life without missing any opportunities that presents it’s self.

Making decisions that can affect a life long friendship or do I selfishly give to others and neglect my own happiness? I have learned to let go and stop relaying on others and pursue my dreams and visions of what I believe to be true.
So many have been kind and offered love, support and words of wisdom they live by, what’s good for you, works for you. All I can do is listen with an open heart and mind,

Every day I feel that something wonderful is about to happen, that will change my life forever and then I realize that it is happing everyday around me,
I’m ever so thankful for the many blessing in my life and what I have been able to do and experience. The many different types of people that I have interacted with.

I can do this. Life is a lesson and we can take this journey together. Tell someone you care.